Jumping The Shark With Whitehouse And Clark.

In the light of the most recent developments in the ongoing collapse of Rangers FC (in administration), Duff and Phelps have issued yet another statement. Sources in the real world suspect that the statement may have been written on the other side of the Looking Glass by Monty Python during an LSD trip.  This suspicion can be neither confirmed of denied at the present moment.

Unless you look at it.

The latest evolution of the Cunning Plan involves the miraculous recent materialisation of three unknown bidders from an unknown planet in an unknown universe.

One of these beings knows a previously unknown method of persuading HMRC to accept a pennies in the pound settlement from a position where it is owed more than 25% of the total debt.  That this has never, ever, ever happened before is an inconvenient fact which is completely disregarded.
The statement, in the words of Sarah Bell of Duff & Phelps, notes that “if it is a stand-alone CVA then that will take several weeks to do”.
Reassuringly, since one of the “three main factors is timing,”  this is somehow entirely consistent with the Administrators’ hope that they will be “running with one of the parties in the next few days.”
It’s a simple matter of squeezing several weeks into the next few days.
A mere bagatelle.

The other two bids are,  “following the same plan as Bill Miller, ie an asset sale to a newco with the old company exiting through CVA.”
Ah, of course!  That will be the plan which Mr. Miller immediately abandoned as soon as he saw the figures.
Now there’s a reason to be cheerful!

A further boost to the morale is the fact that HMRC have not given an inch,  are closely watching every move and are preparing to fire a fatal head-shot at the moment of their choosing.  Or, as Sarah Bell expresses it, “HMRC are interested to see the merits of each one of the offers and they are open to further discussion with us.”

As further proof that everything is going to be just fine and will probably be sorted out by the end of next weekend, Duff & Phelps have revealed that Rangers(IA) is going to be the only club in Scotland which isn’t offering its supporters any opportunity to buy tickets for next season’s matches.
If that doesn’t inspire confidence, then nothing will.

It really has become pointless to look for any credibility in this increasingly ludicrous farce of a process.  There are now fewer and fewer ways of looking at Clark and Whitehouse’s strategy which make any sense to me.
If we cut through the last few months with the aid of Occam’s razor, this outline fits pretty well;

Craig Whyte chose Duff & Phelps as administrators.
Duff & Phelps “ran the numbers”, and soon concluded that RFC was a hopeless, irredeemable basket case.
After all, it took Miller’s people less than four days to reach that conclusion.
It seems highly unlikely that Clark and Whitehouse still haven’t grasped it.

So. What to do?

The options available were;

Option 1
Find a buyer for the club.
Problem:  Minty had spent four or five years trying to offload it. He finally managed to collect one, single pound sterling.
Conclusion:  No chance.

Option 2
Arrange a CVA.
Problem: With HMRC already having more than 25% of the total debt, the odds that more than 75% of the creditors will accept the proposed CVA are about the same as the prospect of Fergus McCann bailing out Rangers in a sensational gesture of philanthropy.
Conclusion:   No chance.

Option 3
Sit tight, stonewall and collect £200,000 every week while going through the motions of trying to rescue the club for the benefit of the creditors. Leave Whyte, Ticketus, HMRC, the SPL, the SFA, the local newsagent and everybody else to sort out their problems amongst themselves in their own time, at their own expense.  Repeat on a weekly basis until the money completely runs out.  Finally, switch off the lights and go home.
Problem:  What problem?



Posted on May 10, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 9 Comments.

  1. Bloody brilliant, Henry!!

  2. As a wise man said a few hours ago, “Shhh! You’ll spoil the surprise”.

  3. Having read all the options available, I’m gonna run with option 3…………..

  4. Will there be any lights to switch off? Will there be a door to close?

  5. i like it a lot option 3 !!!!!!!!!

  6. Good read as always Henry.

    Option 3 with a side dish of Strathclyde Plod jailing the cheating thieving bassas would be good.

  7. On A more positive note. Thers a big piece of land across from the Big House wd be be ideal for a car boot sale!!

    See, thers always a light at the end of the tunnell!! o)))

  8. TheBlackKnight TBK

    I have said it before, and I’ll say it again…..


    • I think the ones most likely to profit from all of this are CW and D&P. I was told a while ago by someone I trust a great deal that Whyte and Clark go back a long way. I think I may have mentioned that on the RTC blog.
      We’re now beginning to see why Whyte specifically wanted D&P to be appointed. If anyone else comes out ahead when all of this is over, they’ll be lucky.

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